Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – Short and Hilarious Messages for a Smile

Thanksgiving Day is celebrated as a day of giving thanks for the blessing and thankful for the harvest and of the preceding year. Thanksgiving wouldn’t be the same without the turkey. We have added some funny Thanksgiving quotes, which are a mix of good, short, inspirational, hilarious, and insightful sayings from famous authors to make everyone is positive, happy, and smiling on this day. We have a great collection of happy thanksgiving sayings to use on birthdays, for kids, family, and friends.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

“I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.”

“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat.˜Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ But we do that every day Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?”

“How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”

“When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was a cat! ”

“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.”

“A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying that smells good to be helping.”

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Short and Hilarious Messages for a Smile

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence.”

“We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”

“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving.”

“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.”

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”

“I dropped the turkey after rubbing olive oil all over it. I rinsed it off, rubbed the oil on again, and cooked it. Didn’t tell anybody for 10 years… I just told them last year. Oh well, it didn’t kill anybody or make them sick!”

“The observance of Thanksgiving Day had been derived from the Pilgrim Fathers.”

“Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for — annually, not oftener — if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians.”

“The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it’s gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.”

“It’s only when you live the prayer of thanksgiving that you live the power of trusting God.

“America has developed a pie tradition unequivocally and unapologetically at the sweet end of the scale, and at no time is this better demonstrated than at Thanksgiving. ”

“Thanksgiving has many symbols, including turkeys, Pilgrims, and pumpkins. The cornucopia or”horn of plenty”, is a symbol for the Thanksgiving harvest. This cone-shaped horn is often filled with fruits, nuts, vegetables, and sometimes even flowers.”

“Why is Thanksgiving such a smart holiday? Because it’s in Know-November. ”

“What’s the sleepiest thing at Thanksgiving dinner? Your nap-kin.”

“What do police officers eat on Thanksgiving? Corn on the cop. ”

“My first thought in the morning is thanksgiving.”

“I know what I’m having for Thanksgiving and it ain’t turkey.”

“Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.”

“Don’t wait until the fourth Thursday in November, to sit with family and friends to give thanks. Make every day a day of Thanksgiving.”

“Thanksgiving is an attitude that must be rooted in the ‘gift of life’ if we ever hope to be thankful for the ‘gifts’ of life. ”

“Thanksgiving is not some formulaic action based on a tedious ledger that neatly tallies everything I have received so I can determine if being thankful is warranted or not. Rather, it’s appreciating the fact that I have already received the privilege of living life which in and of itself will fill the whole of my ledger for the whole of my life. ”

“It was as if God had become not only the object of my praise and thanksgiving but my creative partner as well.”

“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.”

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”

“I’m excited about Thanksgiving because I love unwelcome parenting advice from relatives I see twice a year.

“It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it’s the seconds.”

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not a coincidence.”

“On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment — halftime.”

“Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus.”

“I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky.”

“What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.”

“You know that just before the first Thanksgiving, there was one wise old Native American woman saying, “Don’t feed them. If you feed them, they’ll never leave.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.”

“They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-code.”

“Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building? Yes, a building can’t jump at all!”

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”

“On this Thanksgiving day, let us be grateful that we were not born turkeys.”

“Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped.”

“It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.”

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”

“Why wait until the first Tuesday after Thanksgiving to give. Just give a little every day and help somebody along the way.”

Also See: Funny 50th Birthday Quotes

Hope you like the collection on Thanksgiving funny quotes. You can send these cracking and funny quotes and sayings on thanksgiving day to your friends and family on WhatsApp, FB, LinkedIn, Instagram, etc.